(I admit this is a rather long article full of important info. Also do not assume that you are the answer to all their needs.
Getting a dating background check is part of that wisdom, especially when meeting people by way of the Internet.
He may use you in some small way, and if He does, your ears and your gentle compassion will probably be His first instruments. Practical Dating Tip: C'mon guys, don't be shy, women really and truly are just people.
As a deaconess and the "BIG SISTER IN CHRIST" to hundreds of Christian singles; throughout the years, I can tell you the single dumbest question I get asked almost every Sunday, at every Friday night singles bible study and at any other singles gathering. Then I usually say something like this: "I don't know, did you ask 'so and so' if they would like ____________________ (fill in the blank)"?
The question goes something like this: "Juliet, I'm dating (or want to start dating) 'so and so' and I was just wondering if women like ____________________ (fill in the blank)? Then I explain to them (usually a young man who is shy about talking to women) that God made each of us as individuals, unique in almost every way.
Their question is like asking "Do mothers like ____________________ (fill in the blank)?
" It depends of course on the individual mother, doesn't it!Not to pick on the young Christian men in our singles group, but I very seldom get asked: "Juliet, I'm dating (or want to start dating) 'so and so' and I was just wondering if men like ____________________ (fill in the blank)?" Practical Dating Tip: Tall ladies, loose the high heels! Or at the very least guys tend to talk to women who are not taller than them. To be used of God we need to loose the superior attitude. He is the same PERFECT person who died on the cross for all our sins. Do not assume that if a person has had a rough time in life that they somehow deserve it more than you. Don't assume that you have the solution to their pain.This is of course only my observation based on my own experience. I love be available to listen when someone has a struggle or problem. So I found that guys are more comfortable standing around talking with me in flats than if I am high-heeled-up to over 5 feet 11 inches tall. I know that often guys (especially competitive guys) tend to be more goal oriented and women tend to be more relationship oriented. For example, male golfers view the game as great competitive exercise with a social undertone. And it can be lost in an instant usually after some judgmental or harsh or self-righteous comment.And then I pray for them with detailed knowledge and empathy. Female golfers view the game as great social interaction with a competitive undertone. I have ministered to divorced, widowed, hurting or guilt-ridden singles whom, like everyone else who is no doubt IMPERFECT, have very sensitive wounds.About four years ago I broke a heel off in the church parking lot, so that Sunday I wore my flat-soled basket ball shoes that I keep in the trunk of my car. Treat their wounds with gentleness and you will win a friend!