From time to time I will check out Evan Marc Katz’s site to see what sort of dating-related questions he gets (and the resulting comments).Yesterday’s was from a man who is legally separated (and will be for 3 years) and wonders if he’s screwed from a dating perspective.
And, “separated” can mean many things: Any woman dating a separated or divorcing man is taking a risk.
Sure, some of these guys’ divorces aren’t that complicated and they’re emotionally ready to move on, but most aren’t.
The trick is to know this and handle the situation properly.
Don’t Be Dishonest Guys hate anything that will scare women away because they know it reduces their odds, and no guy likes reduced odds.
This often leads to stupid behaviors like deception and lying – for example, not telling a woman your marital status until you’ve gone out too many times or, worse, telling a woman you’re divorced (especially online! You have to be honest or you’ll look like a dick – you just have to know how to spin it.
For example: She will get past the “separated” label IF you show her you have things under control and aren’t going to make her life miserable.
You Can’t Just Think About “Me” The problem with separated men is that they want to date because they’re tired of being alone and unhappy and want some hope after the pain of divorce. But as I discuss in , many may not consider what they have to offer a woman.
They don’t realize that women don’t want a guy who can’t give her what she needs, who drags her into his divorce by complaining about it, who subjects her to the anger and jealousy of his ex.
If you’re separated and want to date, you need to consider things from her perspective.