There are no “fat” women in Atlanta, only “thick” ones. On the brunch side, you’ll eat ridiculously big, relatively inexpensive, boozy, and delicious meals with your boo every weekend, so obviously that’s ideal.
On the other, you might be expected to team up and ask for double-forgiveness after what you did together Saturday night.
You should consider asking for a W-2, especially if on closer examination the “Michael Kors” on their watch is spelled like the beer.
This is true both in geographic and romantic senses.
Thousands of divorced cougars and silver foxes descend on Buckhead every night, locked in eternal competition for dominance of the ATL’s romantic, midlife-crisis dating scene.
Since almost nobody in Atlanta is actually from Atlanta, we spend most of our time telling out-of-towners why they can't go about finding attractive, eligible people to mate with the same way they did back home, because dating in the ATL isn't like anywhere else, and is downright mysterious for the uninitiated.
In fact, “uninitiated” is just what your sex life will be if you don’t learn the unique ins-and-outs (no pun there at all) of dating in the A.
Here’s what you’ve gotta know: You don’t need statistical studies to know the ratio of women to men is out of freaking control, which many Atlanta women will tell you is exactly how dudes here behave.If you’re a single straight guy and you don’t live here, you’re an idiot. This means that unlike men, women in Atlanta workout, have great jobs, multiple degrees, high-performing investment portfolios, rental properties, on-call hairdressers, and personal chefs.Yes, that means all the single ladies; word to Beyoncé.And you, homeboy, shoulda/woulda/coulda put a ring on it, but instead you overplayed your poker hand, as well as other poker parts, and now you’re played out.Let’s say you’re a fat guy, which -- let’s be honest -- is not all that hypothetical.You can also be jobless, balding, and emotionally fragile, but as long as you can prepare a quality breakfast and at least two other good meals (even if they’re two more breakfasts), you don't gotta worry about those 50 extra pounds.