Finally, after you are over your EX and no longer harbor secret desires to get back together then you can really become “just friends” if you still want to that is.As text/instant messaging is such a HUGE thing, you’d be wise to delete their name and number from your mobile phone (and address book) straight away.
That method seldom (if ever) works for reconciliation. Who enjoys getting woken up in the middle of the night by someone’s incoherent rantings?
Or by being bombarded by text messages from someone that just doesn’t seem to get the hint…It’s o-v-e-r.
Again in time you can re-add them back to your phone but in the early days, weeks or even months, keeping them out of the phone can be a wise move, in order to resist that all-consuming desire for contact!
seem to go through at one time or another in our lives.
(Well, most of us do anyway…) Heartbreak seems to affect us similarly – whether we are young or old, famous or not, rich or poor, and irrespective of where we are geographically.
Below are a few of my suggestions that will hopefully help you decrease your recovery time, and maybe minimize the amount of mistakes made along the way…Here’s hoping, at any rate! (“Emotional Rehab”) – which is basically just my way of saying that it might be “time to go cold turkey” – at least for a little while!
As tempting as it is, if you are still in love with your EX, and he or she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings and intensity, then you’re better off making a clean break. Most people choose to ignore my advice, and remain their ex’s friend – somehow imagining if they do continue to be this wonderful, supportive friend, their EX will miraculously see the err of their ways – and take them back. Now some of you will insist on remaining “friends” with your ex (or have to due to classes, jobs or children together), so if you are attempting this, be sure to set some ground rules.
For example, avoid discussing your former relationship, your new partners, or anything else that you know to be a potentially volatile subject.
Resist every urge inside of you to ask those questions – most of the time the answers hurt!
Keep conversations relevant to work, children or classes and away from any emotional topics. Eventually many non-believers come back to SYBD and say they finally had to take my advice and “cut contact”, because it really is too hard trying to be someone’s “buddy” – when you want more. You’re better off saying – “I care for you, and maybe in time, when I am over the pain, we can resume a friendship, but for now I need time to heal and process this.” While it is rare, in some instances, absence DOES make the heart grow fonder and they do realize what they have been missing and reconciliation is on the cards.
This is especially true when your EX starts seeing someone new and starts asking you for advice (yes really! In others, the time apart actually serves to make you see the relationship for how it was, and as shocking as this may be to you right now, in time you just may realize you don’t want to be their friend after all!